escape

Heeeyy guysss. Today. Tonight. 22 September 2011. :)

Its been a year, when OSIS 2009-2010 goes to Thailand. Miss those time when I don't have many problem right now, the time when life isn't complicated as now, the time when I was having fun like there's no problem in my life. The time when I was stu-dying all time for UN, Alpus Elevation, having fun with friends going anywhere anytime and everywhere, laughing together with my middle school friends, like there's no problem. Yes, like there's no problem.

Its been a year, yes its been a year. You know what? Honestly, I'm frustrated. Many problems happening right now, I don't even know how to solve that... "Cancer" mind always leads to negative thinking. They're always think that every people do and say, its Cancer's fault.

Many things in my mind :s and my brain is going to explode. I get a major headache 2 times a week. And I never want to tell anybody about this, because I don't want. I wanna back to 2008, I wanna start everything :(:( I wanna begin middle school from the beginning again, please god, I don't wanna be in high school :"( I miss my pal :""""( I never felt like this before. I really really want to restart everything's, God :""((( although its hard.. I know that there's a time that I hate everything in my life when I was a middle schooler, but I'm sure I can do it. God always with me. Help me from everything....

I miss those time when we were together, laughing together like there's no problem and awkward feeling, yes, NO AWKWARD FEELING. My life is full of pressure... I hate my brain :"( I hate my heart for letting me being hurts like this :"""( I really need an escape. I need to move to another country. I wanna start a new life. I can't live like this all the time. Everything's torturing me. Even my family does. And I wanna tell you that this "missing everybody" feelings is killing me... I can't believe that everything has an "ends". Nothing lasts forever. I really can't believe that.

That's my life in my position, in my point of view. Maybe everyone thinks that I a very happy person, yeah they see the other side of me. That's not the real me right now. Many pressures. From everywhere. Even from my family. Many problems that I can't even tell you guys. The conclusion is... I'm not that happy these days. Please don't hurt me because I'm really sensitive.

And guys.... I really need a hug :") {}

(i was wrote this post on 22 september 2011 but i havent post it, yet. until now. hehe)