Blue Sky Collapse

Hey guys, i just wanna share this song to you all, i knew this song when my friend told me to listen this on her ipod, and i just fall in love with this song. Enjoy.



As I walk to the end of the line
I wonder if I should look back
To all of the things that were said and done
I think we should talk it over

Then I noticed the sign on your back
It boldly says try to walk away
I go on pretending I'll be ok
This morning it hits me hard that

Still everyday I think about you
I know for a fact that's not your problem
But if you change your mind you'll find me
Hanging on to the place
Where the big blue sky collapse

As I stare at the wall in this room
The cracks they resemble your shadow
When everyday I see time goes by
In my head everything stood still

I'm waiting for things to unfreeze
Till you release me from the ice block
It's been floating for ages washed up by the sea
And it's drowning, thought you should know that

You see people are trying
To find their way back home
So I'll find my way to you


Adhitia Sofyan - Blue Sky Collapse

Not in the mood for sleeping, so yeah.

hellooooo good night.

its been a while.

sooo its already 2 o clock in the morning and im still up. idk why i just dont really wanna sleep but actually am schleepy. i think i just tired, maybe. haha sorry for many mispelling in this post because im truly error.

hmm haha goodnite. so random...

hell-o

helloooo udah lama yaa gk ngepost. gue ngutang banyak cerita nih sama blog... duh maaf gue gak sempet dan pelupa banget setiap mau cerita...

karena malam ini gue available, gue akan banyak cerita ttg masalah yg lg gue alamin skrg.

guys... gue tuh ngerasa labiiil banget malam ini gatau knp. labilnya ke arah negatif tp. gatau tiba2 gue pengen bgt botakin kepala gue saking puyengnya. memang bener sih dr td pagi gue emg udh gak mood sm sekali. tp sejujurnya gue jg gakngerti sm perasaan gue sendiri. gue selalu nganggep diri gue nyampah aja kerjaannya. gue gak pernah sayang sama diri gue sendiri, dan kayaknya itu masalah gue. gue selalu marah sama diri gue ttg apaapun yg gue lakukan atau pikirkan, dan gue sangat benci itu. kerjaan gue adalah ngoreksi diri sendiri, tp kadang2 terlalu parah. sampe2 gue napas hari ini aja terkadang gue seselin. gue gaksuka sama diri gue. gue kangen gue yang dulu. sebenernya ada kemungkinan gara2 gue gak bisa terlalu ekspresiin gue yang sebenernya skrg. sekalinya gue ekspresiin, gue bisa dianggap aneh, dan pada ilfeel. padahal diri gue yang normal yang sebenernya kan emg gue yg dulu. gue gaksuka... dan gue sedih.... gue pengen bisa kaya dulu lagi.gue tuh terlalu banyak nyimpen pikiran sampe numpuk dan itutuh ngebuat gue depresi berat. gue itu punya sifat bisa ngebaca perasaan orang lain, maksudnya yg dia lg rasa skrg. kalo dia lg bete, pasti gue tau. nah, buruknya, gue selalu mikir kalo orang lain itu bete gara2 gue. gue tuh selalu menyalahkan diri gue atas semua kesalahan orang lain. gue selalu berpikiran negatif. gue terlalu korektif sama semua sikap gue, semua perkataan gue, dan gue gabisa biarin itu semua let it flow. semuanya numpuk di pikiran gue. gue gabida ngilangin sama sekeli. gue rasa gue butuh dokter jiwa dan psikolog deh buat ngobrol. gue rasa gue terkena sakit mental. gue gakbisa ngehandle isi kepala gue sendirian, sedangkan gaada yg bisa ngerti gue. ngerti isi kepala gue. gue selalu ngerasa diri gue dimusuhin, tau gak. gue itu tipe cewe yang disenggol sedikit langsung sakit hati kayaknya... tp gue kebanyakan mendem semuanya. gue itu antara pengen dimengerti orang2 dan diwaktu yang sama pengen ekspresiin gue yg sebenernya tapi menurut gue kedua hal itu gakbisa nyatu. gue rasanya hari ini pengen teriak2, mukul tembok, menyesali apapun yang gue lakukan hari ini sampe hal yg gakpenting...... padahal hari ini gue diem aja, tp gue gatau knp merasa ada sesuatu yg salah sm gue. kayaknya berhubungan dgn apa yg gue omongin seminggu ini. gue selalu ngerasa bersalah. ada aja sesuatu yg kurang. gue pengen bgt kepala gue bisa damai, gak banyak pikiran yg numpuk2, setiap hari bukannya semakin semangat, gue malah mkakin menyesali hidup. gue pengen berusaha berubah ke orang yang lebih baik, tp knp rasanya kaya bukan gue yang dulu, yang sangat open ke semua orang, tapi soal isi perasaan malah introvert. sekarang itu gue ngerasa sikap gue tertutup, tp gue ngumbar2 isi hati gue. apa salah mungkin ya ngungkapin yg ada di pikiran gue? pokoknya gue ngerasa ada yang salah sama gue entah apapun itu. gue emang labil, ya i know.

yep itu adalah beberapa ungkapan isi kepala gue yang gabisa gue jelaskan ke orang :( siapa coba yang bakal ngerti isi kepala gue yang muter2 bgt itu.

duh ya... gue capek banget minggu ini. mentally and physically.. pertama gara2 gue banyak tugas, remed, presentasi numpuk, rasanya tangan gue kaya mau copot ngerjain semuanya, dan belum selesai, masi berlanjut sampe minggu dpn, duh sabar ajadeh. kedua... gue lg banyak pikiran banget, sampe pusing sendiri taugak. ketiga, masalah sekolah gue, gue no comment ttg masalah ini... gue cuma pengen semuanya cepet selesai dan sekolah gue kembali kondusif seperti senormalnya sebuah sekolah pada umunya yang aman dan tentram. keempat, gue butuh istirahat, gue pengen badan gue normal, gue butuh tidur, gue butuh makan enak tp gamau gendut. gue bukannya mau diet, tp gue pernah gendut, dan gue gasuka gendut. diet gaada gunanya buat gue. mau gue diet kek engga kek hasilnya sama2 aja, berat gue ttp 53. gue pengen sehat, gue pengen keluarga gue gaada masalah apa2, gue pengen kerjaan ortu gue lancar2 aja, gue pengen sekolah lancar pokoknya. gue berharap Allah ngasi segala jalan yang terbaik buat gue dan keluarga gue.

hey itu aja curahan hati gue malem ini... gak nyangka ya udah oktober aja. time flies so fast. dengan kecepatan turbo. semoga kedepannya lebih baik... :):)

Sweet Sixteen

Hello, good night, good morning, or whatever.

Hi guys, hai teman2.

Post kmrn emg gue tau… agak2 rada absurd… dan no point, tp cukup asik menurut gue yang sangat forever alone. Tapi pertanyaan2 itu beberapa bener2 adalah pertanyaan yg selalu diajuin temen2 gue ke gue, dan sejujurnya… sedikit bosen dan mulai bingung jawabnya gimana. Gue tipe orang yang males ditanya2 berulang2 dan biasanya gue marah dan ngomel kalo ditanyain lagi meskipun dalem hati aja ngomelnya. Yaaa mungkin emang bener itu adalah pertanyaan tentang fisik gue… dan kayaknya untuk kind of question like that kalo ada yang nanya lagii bakal gue jawab alhamdulilah dan masya allah aja kali yaaa hahahaha  -___- #nooffense #jujursaja

29 JUNE 2012!!! Baru aja 2 minggu lalu. Whos birthday? Yeaayy mee!! Happy Birthday buat diri gue yang ke 16, (okey gue mulai wish buat diri sendiri). Di, lo udah gede, lo udh 16^th. Lo harus bisa mikir lebih dewasa, think before you speak, harus selalu seneng, gaboleh pake sedih2, se down2nya diri lo lo  harus bisa bangkitin semangat lo, karena diri lo cuma satu yaitu diri lo doang. Syukurin segalanya yg lo punya, lo jg harus sadar kalo apa yang lo dapatkan sekarang adalah yang terbaik buat lo. Lo harus bisa ngertiin keadaan sekitar lo, lo gaboleh nethink lagi, lo harus ngerasa bahwa lo yang terbaik. Lo gaboleh patah semangat, lo harus bisa ranking 3 besar, lo gaboleh ngilangin senyum dari muka lo meskipun lo sedih, lo gaboleh ngomong kasar, pegang janji lo, kuatin iman lo, lo harus rajin solat, lo gaboleh ngejauh dari orang tua, lo juga jangan jadi anak gaul, dan jangan ngerasa harus gaul, karena lo harus bisa megang dan nahan diri lo dari pergaulan anak jaman sekarang yang makin ancur. Oiya di, jangan pernah ngerusak diri lo dengan cara apapun, sayangin badan lo, rawat baik2 pemberian allah yang lo punya. Selalu baik sama temen lo meskipun mereka juga suka jahat sama lo, tp lo mesti bisa ngertiin. Jaga barang2 lo baik2, jaga hati lo, jaga hati temen lo juga, jangan pernah bikin temen lo sakit hati. Gue yakin lo bisa ngelewatin umur lo yang ke16 ini setahun kedepan dengan baik, gue percaya sama lo. <3

I’ve spend my birthday with my close friends. Yesss Mint, Mine, Macan, Sha2, Sarah, Rifkha. I know ini kurang banget, kurang Alya, Aurel, dan Dhea, unfortunately mereka gabisa dateng :( tengah malem tanggal 29, jujur, gue mengharapkan surprise tengah malem, ada yg bawa kue kerumah, or something like that. Ternyata gaada. Gapapa siih tapi ya namanya expectation seorang birthday girl -_- tapi hp gue langsung rame setelah ngelewatin jam 12 malem. Mint ngucapinnya gak nanggung2!! Ke semua account yang gue punya. Twitter, line, path, fb message, fb wall, fb chat, email, sms, tlp, dan berbagai macaaam hahahaha. Oiya min lo tau ga gue bahagiiaaaaa banget ada yang se care itu sama gue :) you’re the best of the best friend pokoknya. Yang lain jugaaaa langsung ngebanjirin twitter dan bbm gueeee, gue sampe bingung mau balesnya gimana sampe2. Akhirnya gue tinggal tidur aja dan jujur yaa malem itu gue tidur sambil senyum. Bangun tidur, sekitar jam 7 pagi gue harus bangun untuk siap2 ambil rapot bareng nyokap. Ya, ambil rapot bareng nyokap di hari ultah gue. I know, disaster. Gue sempetin liat hape, ebuset numpuk bbm, dan akhirnya gue mengumpulkan setumpuk effort untuk membalas temen2 tercintakuuu, yang bikin gue senyum2 mulu. Gue seneeeenggggg banget bisa ke sekolah disaat ultah gue. Rasanya hati gue penuh banget, seneng banget, bisa ngeliat muka temen dan diselametin temen langsung di sekolah, karena jujur ya, seumur hidup gue gapernah ngerayain ultah disekolah dan bareng temen2 sekolah. Karena ultah gue selalu pas waktu liburan. Okey, skip soal rapot, rapot gue bagus, yeah alhamdulilah. Meskipun sejujurnya dibawah expectation gue, tapi gapapa gue tetep bersyukur karena hasilnya cukup memuaskan dan bikin nyokap gue seneng. 

Siangnya, gue dan keluarga gue ni schedule banget. Sama sekali gaada rencana apa2 so yeah gapapa. Dan sedihnya bokap gue pake kerja seharian dari pagi dan dia belom nyelametin gue ultah. Berakhir makan siang aja dirumah sama nyokap berdua, dan memutuskan untuk nyalon dan creambath. Gue sih seneng2 aja, karena relaxing banget. Dan malem itu juga kebetulan mine ngajakin fancy dinner gituu di Hamptons kemang, sama anak2 yang namanya udah gue sebut di awal. Setelah dari salon, nyokap ngajakin makan di resto steak kesukaan dia sama bokap, dan lucunya sebelahan persis sama Hamptons. Namanya Moe’s Steak. Gue dibeliin rib eye steak yang super enak dan gede. Beh mantep banget. Tadinya kakak gue mau nyusul tapi tidak bisa jadinya yasudah. Akhirnya gue makan berdua nyokap aja. Selanjutnya gue pulang kerumah, masi belom ada bokap :( gue mikir apa kali ya dia lupa gue ultah sampe sesibuk itu… gue akhirnya siap2 aja buat dinner sama anak2 nanti malem, and im wearing one kind of dress, and this is sooo rare. Jadinya atasnya kayak kemeja gitu terus bawahnya rok sedengkul. Yap ini jarang banget gue make ginian, tapi gapapa jadinya justru gue ngerasa special. Lalu sekitar jam 7 malam gue jalan ke tujuan sambil dianter kk gue, karena nyokap bokap gaada dirumah dan artinya gaada yang bisa nganter kecuali kk gue. Waktu nyampe… super asin. Like really anak2 belom ada yang dateng. Gue inget kejadian taun lalu makan2 ultah gue sha2 + farewell oel, gue sampe nunggu sejam lebih. Gue langsung awkward dan parno dan akhirnya minta ditemenin kakak gue dulu sampe ada yang dateng. Mine udah ngereserved 8 orang atas nama Diandra, jadinya gue rada2 seneng sendiri gituu hehehe. Orang yang dateng pertama seinget gue adalah mine sha2 and rifkha. Gue langsung meluk mereka gituuuu kangen banget soalnya. Akhirnya semua dateng, gue peluk2in semua, foto2 bareng, soalnya like really bener2 kangen gue. Karena gue gabisa ngulang masa2 smp sama mereka, rasanya sedih, tapi itu udah jalan kehidupan, semuanya ada akhirnya. And the most special thing is I can spend my birthday with them. Gaada duanya, menghabiskan hari Sweet Sixteen sama my best friends. Waktu kita semua udah ngumpul, bokap nyokap gue tiba2 datengin kita, terus bokap gue ketemu gue langsung ngomong “sekarang belum selesai kan tanggal 29 juni nya? Masi hari ulang tahun kamu kan?” terus dia langsung nyium sama meluk gue gitu, gue jujur rada terharu digituin sama bokap gue. Terus nyokap bokap gue pergi untuk makan di… Moe’s. hahahaha berarti nyokap guee makan disitu 2 kali hari ini. Then I spend the night with laughing and talking with the girls, ngomongin apa aja, ngomongin yang lucu2, pokoknya apa aja kita obrolin sambil makan enak. Dan ada yang kelewat. My dad gave me permission to come home late, and boleh make rok pendek. Itu aja udah rare banget. Setelah jam 10an… kita semua mutusin mau pulang. Sempet mau nerusin lagi kemanaaaa gituuu namanya juga kemang HAHAHA gadeengg. Gue dianterin pulang naik mobil mine, makasih bgt ya min <3 sampe rumah gue cek hape, cek twitter, bales2in semua yang belum terbalas. Gue ngerasa seneng banget hari itu, tapi sampe gue tidur sekitar jam 11, gue masih ngerasa ada yang kurang.  Dan rasa yang kurang itu udah hilang di pagi hari :):):)

Lastly, gue cuma mau ngucapin makasih, makasih banget, untuk temen2 gue, keluarga gue, sahabat gue, guru gue, dan semua orang yang nyelametin gue ultah, mau diucapin langsung, mau lewat bbm/twitter/facebook atau apapun, thank youuuuuuuu {}{}{} makasih banget udah warnain sweet sixteen gue, kalian special banget buat gue. Buat orang yang gue gaksangka bakal ngucapin, tapi sebenernya gue tunggu2, makasih banget, kalian masi inget sama gue, meskipun lo ngucapin malem kek, telat kek, besoknya kek, minggu depannya kek, gue tetep sangat berterima kasih sama lo.

Thank you so much.

Frequently Ask Question

Halloooo!! Setelah hibernasi berbulan bulan gue telah kembali dengan menggunakan bahasa negara kita, uyeah. Mungkin ada yg penasaran gue kemana..? hahahaha kaliii. Gue menghabiskan summer ini kemana2, dan super seru. Untuk cerita adventure ini akan gue ceritain di post selanjutnya. Because im sooo in the mood for blogging. Oke maksud judul post ini adalaaaah gue pengen ngumpulin seluruh pertanyaan yg sering ditanyakan temen2 gue ke gue, dan juga beberapa pertanyaan yang gue ajukan sendiri ke diri gue, seperti formspring yang gue bikin buat diri gue sendiri. Soooo you can know me even more setelah membaca post iniii wehehehe so here we go :P

1. Kenapa nama lo Diandra Rivanka? Kan unik tuh.

- Karena nama gue terinspirasi dari nama-nama orang rusia, kalo kata nyokap gue.

2. Kenapa lo bisa tinggi? (sejujurnya, pertanyaan ini sangat ngebosenin... TT_TT )

- Soalnya hobi gue minum susu...heheheh. Orang tua gue juga tinggi soalnya. Turunan gitu mungkin..?

3. Kok kulit lo putih banget? Jangan makin putih lagi dong. (ini pertanyaan yang selalu gue denger dari semua orang...huft -__- )

 - Yang pastinya gue gak suntik putih atau make obat dokter apapun. Turunan juga kayaknya yah...

4. Make behel dari kapan?

- Dariii kelas 2 smp. Dan ohiya gue make behel bukan gara2 gaya atau lg jaman, tp gigi gue bener2 berantakan, dan bahaya bgt kalo sampe gak dipagerin wakakakakk

5. Mines mata berapa?

- Semakin lama semakin bertambah, sekarang -2.75 juga silindris 0.25 huhu

6. Kenapa gak make contact lens aja?

- Kalo kata nyokap gue kalo gue gak bersih nanti jadi berbahaya... Yasudah tidak apa2 dengan kacamata juga

7. Apa barang yang gak pernah lepas dari tangan lo?

- Hp of course... Duit, sama kartu pelajar, kacamata, jam tangan

8. Kenapa sih kok bisa suka banget sama korea2an atau kpop gitu?

- Gini aja, gue dengerin lagu dari musiknya, genre lagunya yang gue suka, waktu gue liat penyanyi nya, ternyata kece, gue lebih makin suka, dan tertarik untuk tau lebih jauh, gakperlu meduliin mereka orang mana dan asalnya dari negara apa. Dan ternyata gue sadar kalo gue suka jenis2 lagu yang kayak gini, disupport dengan penyanyi nya yang menarik banget, terobsesi deh.

9. Ngomong2, genre lagu yang lo suka apa?

- Dance pop, ballad, slow, j-pop, k-pop, pop, electronic

10. Apa film all-time-favourite lo?

- Pertanyaan yg super duper susah. 3 besar aja deh ya? Eiffel! Im In Love, 500 Days of Summer, Twilight Saga, dan lain2...

11. Kalo lagu?

- Hmmmm. Hivi - Indahnya Dirimu & Orang Ketiga, SNSD TTS - Lovesick, EXO-K - Into Your World, Kau - Dua, Soulvibe, and many more

12. Lagi suka sama siapa?

- No one. Like really no one. Because liking someone is too mainstream. Hahahaha. Broken heart is too mainstream too. Gue gak ngerasa harus suka sama orang.

13. Apa kabar lo?

- Pertanyaan yang sangat mainstream. Oke, malem ini gue baik2 aja. Oke, gue baru aja boong. Sebenernya engga. Sangat kenapa2. Pikiran gue muter2 sana sini, tapi gue gak sedih. Campur aduk banget, antara seneng marah sedih bahagia gitu deh hahahaha kalo pikiran cewe isinya kaya gini mah biasa. Jujur gue ngerasa kopong saking terlalu campur aduknya, tp its okay gue gapapa

14. Gimana sekolah lo?

- Pertanyaan ini selalu ditanyakan teman smp gue hahahaha, baik kok alhamdulilah, gue udh terima rapot kemaren, hasilnya baik, gue ngerasa gue ada di jurusan yang bener. Soal temen juga alhamdulilah, punya angkatan yang super baik dan nyatu, gak kenal perbedaan, meskipun gue sering gak ikut acara angkatan dan ini bikin gue gaenak bgt, mereka masih nerima gue, makasih ya guys. Soal gimana kelancaran sekolahnya sendiri...hm baik2 aja, gaada yang aneh2 alhamdulilah.

15. Hobi lo?

- Obviously listening to the music. Jugaaa main laptop dan main hp, baca komik dan novel, dance, baca fanfic muahahaha

16. Paling suka dan paling pinter pelajaran apa lo?

- Ummmmm gue sih simpel bgt, paling suka art sama geografi. Pokoknya pelajaran yang hafalan, bukan itung2an. Gak ada pelajaran yang paling pinter specifically sih, hoki2an aja tergantung materinya

17. Di kpop suka siapa aja?

- HAHA! OKEY. EXO (Kai, Baekhyun, Kris), SJ (Kyuhyun), Infinite (L), itu doang, gak banyak mau kok gue ahahahahh

18. Barang yang menurut lo paling penting dalam hidup lo?

- Ada satu box isinya barang memori gue dari sd, smp. Isinya macem2, sampe coklat dari orang aja ada, sampe udah busuk. Koleksi komik Conan gue, sama tempat tidur gue dikamar.

19. Cita2 lo sebenernya?

- Ini pertanyaan yang dengan mudah gue jawab waktu sd, tapi berubah jadi gakbisa gue jawab waktu sma. Cita2 gue dulu adalah jadi dokter anak, tapi kalo dipikirin sekarang gak mungkin. Jadinya berubah jadi Sekjen PBB. yap, itu cita2 gue.Semua orang boleh punya mimpi kan? Gimana kalo itu mimpi gue? Gue pengen merintis dari bawah sampe atas, sampe sukses.

20. Pertanyaan terakhir... Apa rencana lo kedepan? dalam berbagai macam aspek dan juga bidang?

- Soal sekolah, gue pengen nyelesain sekolah dengan cepet dan dengan nilai bagus. Dapet undangan HI-UI, keterima SGU jurusan International Business, atau Prasmul jurusan Business and Management. Selesai sekolah ambil S2, kerja di pemerintahan dalan bidang kementrian luar negri, jadi sekretaris mentri luar negri, jadi mentri luar negri, kerja di PBB, dicalonkan jadi sekjen PBB, berhasil jadi sekjen PBB. Soal lovelife, just find the right one lah. Soal keluarga, semoga makin saling sayang dan gapernah berantem lagi. Nah yang susah, soal diri gue. Gue harus bisa mendisiplinkan diri gue yang sangat pemales dan gabut ini. Ngubah diri sendiri itu yang paling susah, bismillah untuk yang terbaik.

HAI OKE jadi baru itu aja pertanyaan mainstream dari gue dan buat gue sendiri yang sebenernya iseng banget, no intention on something loh, completely iseng dan fun aja. Gue sekarang lagii nulis blog aja sambil dengerin ipod, sambil buka twitter dan juga facebook. Hm td juga ngecek lagu baru yang gue denger, dan langsung gue suka, iyep meskipun lagunya sedikit menyakitkan... okay ini potongan lyricsnya:

It's the last goodbye I swear
I can't rely on a dime a day love that don't go anywhere
I learn to cry for someone else
I can't get by on an odds and ends love that don't ever match up
I heard all you said and I took it to heart

I won't forget I swear
I have no regrets for the past is behind me
Tomorrow reminds me just where

Can't quite see the end
How can I rely on my heart if I break it with my own two hands?
I heard all you said and I love you to death
I heard all you said don't say anything

It's the last goodbye I swear
I can't survive on a half-hearted love that will never be whole

The Kills - Last Goodbye

Udah malem juga yah ternyata... jadi ngantuk. Pas banget gue abis minum vitamin biar cepet ngantuk gituuu ahahaha, apa gue terusin besok ajaaa untuk cerita2nya? Padahal lagi in the mood banget buat cerita lagi. Okey guys gue gak kuat ternyata gue ngantuk juga *poker face*. TERUSIN BESOK YAAAA CERITANYAAAAA BYEEE BYEEEE STAY TUNED GUUYSSSS :*

Hey May

Hi guys. Now its already eleven o clock in the night and im still in the midst of working out my presentation thing and i have many things to tell you so im gonna make it simple.

Last few days been good eventho there's slightly problems but yeah it was over. But there's MANY unbelievable and oh-my-god things happen to me. I never be in this position, and i, duh, trust me, i cant handle it myself. I got sooo confused but im still hanging on the wall. The craziest wall and that 6 years wall. I cant moved and i cant stop.I know this is embarrassing and this you cant understand my weird word here. Okay okay forget it but still im in the middle of oh-so called teenagers life.

Today in Indonesian Language class we was talking about Journalism thing. Writing is my hobby, and reading too. Its already in my blood ha ha. Then my teacher said that maybe i have a potential in journalism because i've been blogging until now. Dont know how i became so excited, but i think im into this kind of work. I love to wrote everything on my head, my feeling, and the things that bothering me so much. Because sometimes i think there's a time that even human cant understand your problem very well then you dont know how to pour your feeling into where then lastly you wrote it all. Maybe just on blog, personal diary, or maybe notes. The good things about writing your feeling and experiences is they never complained. Diary never complain. They just listened and makes you feel relieved and happy. If there any problems that keep bothering you so much, just pour it all on a diary. I swear you feel better. And there's a writing competition coming up, i dont know if i should participate or not, actually im interested, but if its feels like a heavy project then i'll just didnt participate. Now im in the middle of studying A LOT for final exam. There's a lot of pressured because my mom want me to get a better score beating all of another competitor. I hope it will happen mom, lets just keep praying to God so he can save and protect us a lot.

Monday went very well, today's too. But today i feel so dizzy and i was having a bad headache this morning when im in the trip to school. I feel my body is cold and i lacked sleep. Then i was eating panadol and going to sleep in the class for an hour. It didnt change enough but at least its making me feel better.

Okay so im gonna leave it here and start to working out my school's project and assignment now. xo thank you for listened me very well :)

Haaaaai guys its been a while. Actually only a week. hahaha. I have a lot of things to shared.... Many various things.

First of all i want to shared is about #SS4INA. Precious moment. I cant even scream or barely talk about it. I was sooooo incredibly lucky, to get the super vip part, right in front of the stage. I can see everything and not getting tired. And you must know!!! When Kyuhyun right in front of me, i gave him a love hand gesture while screaming his name, and then he see me, nodded at me, and gave his hand to me from a far. He looked at my eyes, he smiled. Oh my precious moment. I miss him sooooo much even tho i didn't like him much as before, but its okay, i like him. And then the other moment is seeing them singing and perform live in front of me is too much, and make my heart fluttered a lot. I hope God give me another lucky chance to meet them again personally and get their autograph hihi :)

And of course the other best moment in my live is seeing EXO-M perform. Im the HUGE fan of them. Too in love with them. Forever love them even before they are debuting. I wait them from last year, and then yesterday i already met them LIVE. God loves me. EXO is perfect guy. They always perform their best with skillful voice while they singing and then the choreography is so great and cool oh my these people are perfect. Seeing my baby Luhan is great, seeing my perfect husband Kris is more great, and then loving all the other member. I want to meet EXO-K too :( i want to meet all of SMTOWN family. The end of this topic.

Lately im TOO into school. Just being honest. I always do all the exercises faster than ever... Studying in all the break time... Getting more math lesson after school, and not playing around in the break time. I didnt even having a lunch or a little snack. Maybe that's why im soooo skinny these day. More skinnier. 50kg again. But my height is increasing. Now more than 172cm. Now you know how skinny i am now... right? :( and i dont know how to maintain this all yeah i want to be skinny but healthy skinny not like this yes skinny because didnt eat anything. Last week i never have a lunch or a dinner, and i keeping all my money. And i spend it all only for buying batteries for my suju's lightstick. This is pathetic but this is the truth huhuhu. Back to the problem, about school, yeah because i have to catch up all of the things so i can get a better score and getting high ratings. My mom have a high expectations on me, to get the first rank, better score than the other, get the best university with the best faculties, and i have to studying forever until i get that all. Insya Allah i get it all. I will trying extra hard to make my family proud of me and gave their 100% trust on me, because i believe that every achievement i made i will get a good payback :) it is not like i expecting a prize or something but i only want my parents trust me, that im not that kind of girl who bitching around, playing until night yeah something like that... And you know what i have an allergic when i smells smoke from cigarettes. I am more into playing laptop, blogging, instagram, laughing around with friends, skype with bestfriends, eating, watching tv and movies, listening to the music, and yeah thats all my hobbies actually hahaha lol. I want to try my best and get my best. Thats my motto. I think im not gonna have a boyf and yeah i think i want to study well until i finish high school. I want to play around but not too much. I just want to do my best to get UI-HI. Insya Allah. Amen.

Oh my... I didnt see the time. So sleepy. Its already 10 o'clock and i didnt realize it and yeah im sleepy already because school today is much tiring even tho theres no class today. I just got home at 4 o'clock in the afternoon then i ate my lunch then sleep while playing laptop. Its pathetic and forever alone and i know, but im proud of being myself all around, i believe that im not gonna take the wrong path of life, i will try to always positive thinking and working hard at my best. Thats my other motto i think, hahaha.

I Love My Life and i will dedicated my life to those who appreciated me, thank you guys, xo ♥

Tuesday morning

Hello guys!!! now im at my class working out at new geography chapter called hydrosphere. I didn't have a really good sleep last night, because im studying until midnight and then i have to do something so yeah i was sleeping at 1AM.Last week is so tiring. Even tho its holiday but i have to do a lot of things that's need my strength and power so yeah its very tiring. I'm queuing for Super Junior SS4 concert till midnight and its makes me sooooooooo tired. I didn't have my dinner, not getting any snacks, so i only drink water to fill up my tummy. But its okay. I am so happy getting my ticket. Its worth it enough. Cant wait to see you soon, EXO-M and Super Junior oppars. Lol hahahahaha.

Last week im going to Spore to have my little getaway from Jakarta. Actually i have to accompany my parents to their power plant (its not like really really a plant, guys) exhibition at Marina Bay Sands Exhibition Hall. And then i get the chances to walking around marina bay sands hotel and mall, yeah its cool! Hahaha im sooo dummy when i see those big boat in the top of the hotel. But unfortunately i didnt stay at that hotel, im staying at another hotel in orchard. I think because im alone, only with my parents, its a little bit boring. But walking around in orchard road seems fine. And then im going to the malls, buying rubi shoes like i always did when im going to spore, going to forever 21 to see some cutes dress and crop tee (but again unfortunately i only bought a simple sweater). Emm its only 3 days 2 night so walking around just fine and entertaining. Thanks mom & dad <3

Since im going to high school, i feel so weird. There something changing about my attitude. I am more calm and quiet, dont know why. I feel like listening to the music still the best hobby to do EVERYDAY. Sometimes i think i have my own imagination and my own world. But i think this hobby is not weird and scary, yeah i just feel like being alone. Not forever alone, but choosing being alone.

About my class movie project, finally i already did my acting parts. Im not really good at acting, tho. If im going to be an actress maybe im going to be the worst one. Lol hahahaha. At least im going to taking acting school first. (Like im really going to be an actress... haha).

 By the way... i really want to get  a scholarship. I really want to apply from now. I want to lived in another country, having my school outside Indonesia. Because i feel like living in another country seems so easy and fun. I want to take foreign university, the example is National University of Singapore, or maybe Princeton University, Yale University. Dreaming is good guys. I love to dreaming. And maybe i can fulfill my dream. And my dream university faculty is Business, Management, and International thingy. My dream job is working at United Nation. I hope God will answers all my prayer and hope, and my dream too.

I think because im all alone now, and have a lot of time, im blabbing about my dream, my things, my hobby, and i feel this is so weird. hahahaha. Maybe because im bored? Not really. Btw guys i still have a presentation that i haven't work it out, actually already but only the cover page huhu :p But i don't feel like ending this post. I still have a lot of things that i still want to let it out, let it go, by posting my stories in this blog. I know that my viewers is always increasing, but i don't know who you are. This is my new idea to know who you are. Simply write the comment in this post by saying your name. Hahaha but it doesn't necessary, isn't it? I love my silent reader better. You guys read my stories and then quit it. My blog is one of my personal diaries beside my best friends. But the negative is my Blog doesn't help my solving and healing my problem, but my friend does {}{} Actually my blog listen me too well, until many paragraphs, hundred post, and many years. Thank you blogspot :) You always listen too well. Thank you so much.

Bye guys, i still have a lot assignments to do. See you wanna see you :)

I Love You, xx

hey guysss!!!

hey guyyyyssss its been a long time. you know im getting busier these days. many school things. so depressed. but there's one assignment that made me happier as hell................... PROJECT MOVIES uyeaaayyy!!! i like it so much because im into making movies thingy. and then many homeworks to do. test. im shoooo crazy. but but school is getting fun, yeah. hmm actually school is tiring, i put a little sarcasm at my last opinion haha.

now i keep scrolling at my twitter timeline. actually i really miss the old time with my bestfriends!!!! it is so damn awesome i cant even. and then and then when people starting to annoyed and insult me, thats the best one!!!

now im stu-dying math with my dearest alya meutia {}{} byeee guyssss hope to see ya soon :*

just being honest

ummm hi guys :)

gue cuma pengen jujur aja kali ini...

gue sangat expect lebih, tp sygnya gue keduluan.

i dont know, as if like my heart are floating, or burning :(

im not a special person tho, im just me, nothing elses

sometimes i would act like i dont care, but this isnt working.

that time when you want to scream, but you cant.

or on that time when you really want to say the truth, but you cant.

that time when you want to spilled everything.

that time when you want to see those eyes.

that time when you want to smile again, ear to ear, with your blushed cheeks.

that time when you have butterflies all over your tummy.

that time when you heart beating like crazy.

that time when you.... cant get everything you want.

that time when you cant have all of it.

that time when its all just a memories.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

its hurt. when everything like this.

simply and truthfully, i just want to be called by "di" again.

di. di. di. di. di.

today i swear im not doing anything...

guys. im here. im alive. yeah.

its been a long time i didn't post something in my blog with english (haha maybe? however i forgot). yesterday i celebrate my dear husband birthday, yep the man in my post before this. hahaha lol i declare him as my new husband now :P i already break up with kyuhyun because he's a got a more trashy girls around him. i just dont like him anymore. then when im feel so alone i saw Yun hubby music video and live performance, and his reality show. its just feels like a whole world crashing. actually, my heart does hahaha. actually, i like him from very old time... in 2009... when i see Wrong Number music video. he's so handsome i could've die. but kyuhyun take my heart first... and then... yeah. *WARNING, FAN GIRL POST ATTACK*

About school... great. I've moved to Social Class like i told you before. It is great. I feel so great. I feel more eased. I dont need to study chemical, physics, and biology anymore. IT FEELS SO GOOD. Hell yeah.

Sooo i dont really have a pressure these days, but my feelings stay the same. I truly cant change my feelings at all :)

kay not really a long post, bye, xx

Little notes for my everything, in 6 February 2012 {}

“I love to joke around but in actuality, I’m the loneliest.” - Jung Yunho

He's the one, my U-Know.
Although he feel lonely, Cassiopeia and BigEast always there for him.
He is the truly leader who fight for the group until the last drop of tears and sweat.
He protect the group like there's nothing more important than that.
He want to keep it as 5 no matter how, in any ways.
His dedication to SM Entertainment and DBSK/TVXQ/TOHOSHINKI is very great, and very faithful.
He's the birthday boy today, so lets greet him (from far away, from me, yeah) with a sweet HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wish anything but the best for you, you are my favorite, you are my best, still as ever, and forever.


Always Keep The Faith,
I Love You

first post in 2012. hey :-)

*2012 greetings pic from me hahahaha lol*

HELLO, HAPPY *late* NEW YEAR 2012 :D

Selamat tahun baru all my readers, semoga kita semua semakin baik lagi di tahun ini! :-) Untuk gue, gaada permintaan yang spesifik tahun ini. Kalo taun lalu kan... Pengen lulus UN, dapet sekolah yang diinginkan, sukses, dan bisa banggain ortu. Dan alhamdulillah tercapai heehee ;) Kalo taun ini gimana yaaa.... Mmmmm kaya yg gue bilang td, gak spesifik minta apa. Kayaknya sih tetep jadi another labil year ahemmm (kyaaaa >.<) sebenernya inimah gue yang labil gatau mau apa. FYI gue ambil IPS guyssssss! Nah ini kejadian bulan desember tapi baru gue omongin skrg gyahaha. Gue seneng bgt, sumpah. Gue gak sedih karena ini yang gue mau :D Insya Allah gue siap ngejalanin awal taun ini dengan lancar tanpa hambatan, gak pake stres2an, dibawa have fun aja, lupain segala macem yang buruk2 di 2011, dan jadi anak kelas satu yang baik O:)

Gak kerasa yah tinggal satu semester lagi di kelas satu... Banyak kejadian selama gue masuk SMA, hal yang bener2 baru buat gue, dan cukup berat. Yang sedihnya lagi, gue gak bisa ngerasain nyaris semua kejadian2 dan acara sekolah gue. Ini sedih. Demi apapun gue mau gabung sama kalian guys, tapi... u know my parents. Kalian mesti tau betapa inginnya gue ikut konvoy dll. Ikut acara sekolah. Apapun club, ekskul, dan kegiatan yang gue mau ikut pasti gakdibolehin, dan pastinya karena alasan yang logis. Dan gue terima itu karena omongan nykp gue bener. Jujur ini berat banget buat gue, gue sedih, gue takut, gue labil, gue bingung. Sebenernya gue cuma pengen minta maaf sebesar-besarnya... ngga enak bgt :"""(

Selama liburan natal dan taun baru ini gue lumayan jarang dirumah... Mostly di bandung tentunya. Gue selama liburan ke surabaya 5 hari... Anyer 3 hari... Bandung sampe 2 minggu kali ya... Rencana gue dan keluarga yang insya allah mau ke eropa, gagal. Ke amerika, gagal. Ke jepang, visanya belum di confirm. Ke sidney, sekeluarga gak begitu tertarik. Jadinya insya allah... *jengjengjeng* ke korea!!! huff huff sebenernya ini jadwal awal kita semua yang belum tercapai. Doakan sajaaa liburanku yang sangat telat ini jadi hehehehehe :)

Kayaknya untuk selanjutnya gue update beberapa foto gue aja meskipun sangat tidak penting hahahahaha!

*Girls day out at my crib, swim with mine rifkha sarah dewi :D*

*with mum at anyer. pardon my hair that covered my eyes -_-" bcs its very windy there huff*

*with little sista at Zangrandi in surabaya. lol my expression i didnt like it tho fufu*

HAHAHA kok jadi gue yg malu yah pake photo update segalaaa wkwk -_-" btw btw gue motong rambut lagi loh untuk kesekian kalinya... gangerti tujuannya apa (sebenernya sih buang sial) tapi rambutnya malah jadi bagus! loving my new haircut :-) btw gue pengen bgt copot behel, tapi takut nyesel gituu. huff gimana dong ya masi labil nih

Terakhir.. buat menutup post pertama gue di 2012... gue cuma mau bilang kalo gue tahun ini bakal lebih hidup. Kan taun lalu lebih banyak tekanan tuh, insya allah sekarang bisa lebih tenang dan nyantai. Harapan gue.. pengen banget bisa ranking 3 besar di kelas IPS yang baru ini, semoga pilihan gue benar dan gue bisa sukses!!! Amin!!! Doakan ya guysss :-)


Niteeee, sleep tight, dont forgot to dream about me lol haha byeeee :*