Hey May

Hi guys. Now its already eleven o clock in the night and im still in the midst of working out my presentation thing and i have many things to tell you so im gonna make it simple.

Last few days been good eventho there's slightly problems but yeah it was over. But there's MANY unbelievable and oh-my-god things happen to me. I never be in this position, and i, duh, trust me, i cant handle it myself. I got sooo confused but im still hanging on the wall. The craziest wall and that 6 years wall. I cant moved and i cant stop.I know this is embarrassing and this you cant understand my weird word here. Okay okay forget it but still im in the middle of oh-so called teenagers life.

Today in Indonesian Language class we was talking about Journalism thing. Writing is my hobby, and reading too. Its already in my blood ha ha. Then my teacher said that maybe i have a potential in journalism because i've been blogging until now. Dont know how i became so excited, but i think im into this kind of work. I love to wrote everything on my head, my feeling, and the things that bothering me so much. Because sometimes i think there's a time that even human cant understand your problem very well then you dont know how to pour your feeling into where then lastly you wrote it all. Maybe just on blog, personal diary, or maybe notes. The good things about writing your feeling and experiences is they never complained. Diary never complain. They just listened and makes you feel relieved and happy. If there any problems that keep bothering you so much, just pour it all on a diary. I swear you feel better. And there's a writing competition coming up, i dont know if i should participate or not, actually im interested, but if its feels like a heavy project then i'll just didnt participate. Now im in the middle of studying A LOT for final exam. There's a lot of pressured because my mom want me to get a better score beating all of another competitor. I hope it will happen mom, lets just keep praying to God so he can save and protect us a lot.

Monday went very well, today's too. But today i feel so dizzy and i was having a bad headache this morning when im in the trip to school. I feel my body is cold and i lacked sleep. Then i was eating panadol and going to sleep in the class for an hour. It didnt change enough but at least its making me feel better.

Okay so im gonna leave it here and start to working out my school's project and assignment now. xo thank you for listened me very well :)

Haaaaai guys its been a while. Actually only a week. hahaha. I have a lot of things to shared.... Many various things.

First of all i want to shared is about #SS4INA. Precious moment. I cant even scream or barely talk about it. I was sooooo incredibly lucky, to get the super vip part, right in front of the stage. I can see everything and not getting tired. And you must know!!! When Kyuhyun right in front of me, i gave him a love hand gesture while screaming his name, and then he see me, nodded at me, and gave his hand to me from a far. He looked at my eyes, he smiled. Oh my precious moment. I miss him sooooo much even tho i didn't like him much as before, but its okay, i like him. And then the other moment is seeing them singing and perform live in front of me is too much, and make my heart fluttered a lot. I hope God give me another lucky chance to meet them again personally and get their autograph hihi :)

And of course the other best moment in my live is seeing EXO-M perform. Im the HUGE fan of them. Too in love with them. Forever love them even before they are debuting. I wait them from last year, and then yesterday i already met them LIVE. God loves me. EXO is perfect guy. They always perform their best with skillful voice while they singing and then the choreography is so great and cool oh my these people are perfect. Seeing my baby Luhan is great, seeing my perfect husband Kris is more great, and then loving all the other member. I want to meet EXO-K too :( i want to meet all of SMTOWN family. The end of this topic.

Lately im TOO into school. Just being honest. I always do all the exercises faster than ever... Studying in all the break time... Getting more math lesson after school, and not playing around in the break time. I didnt even having a lunch or a little snack. Maybe that's why im soooo skinny these day. More skinnier. 50kg again. But my height is increasing. Now more than 172cm. Now you know how skinny i am now... right? :( and i dont know how to maintain this all yeah i want to be skinny but healthy skinny not like this yes skinny because didnt eat anything. Last week i never have a lunch or a dinner, and i keeping all my money. And i spend it all only for buying batteries for my suju's lightstick. This is pathetic but this is the truth huhuhu. Back to the problem, about school, yeah because i have to catch up all of the things so i can get a better score and getting high ratings. My mom have a high expectations on me, to get the first rank, better score than the other, get the best university with the best faculties, and i have to studying forever until i get that all. Insya Allah i get it all. I will trying extra hard to make my family proud of me and gave their 100% trust on me, because i believe that every achievement i made i will get a good payback :) it is not like i expecting a prize or something but i only want my parents trust me, that im not that kind of girl who bitching around, playing until night yeah something like that... And you know what i have an allergic when i smells smoke from cigarettes. I am more into playing laptop, blogging, instagram, laughing around with friends, skype with bestfriends, eating, watching tv and movies, listening to the music, and yeah thats all my hobbies actually hahaha lol. I want to try my best and get my best. Thats my motto. I think im not gonna have a boyf and yeah i think i want to study well until i finish high school. I want to play around but not too much. I just want to do my best to get UI-HI. Insya Allah. Amen.

Oh my... I didnt see the time. So sleepy. Its already 10 o'clock and i didnt realize it and yeah im sleepy already because school today is much tiring even tho theres no class today. I just got home at 4 o'clock in the afternoon then i ate my lunch then sleep while playing laptop. Its pathetic and forever alone and i know, but im proud of being myself all around, i believe that im not gonna take the wrong path of life, i will try to always positive thinking and working hard at my best. Thats my other motto i think, hahaha.

I Love My Life and i will dedicated my life to those who appreciated me, thank you guys, xo ♥

Tuesday morning

Hello guys!!! now im at my class working out at new geography chapter called hydrosphere. I didn't have a really good sleep last night, because im studying until midnight and then i have to do something so yeah i was sleeping at 1AM.Last week is so tiring. Even tho its holiday but i have to do a lot of things that's need my strength and power so yeah its very tiring. I'm queuing for Super Junior SS4 concert till midnight and its makes me sooooooooo tired. I didn't have my dinner, not getting any snacks, so i only drink water to fill up my tummy. But its okay. I am so happy getting my ticket. Its worth it enough. Cant wait to see you soon, EXO-M and Super Junior oppars. Lol hahahahaha.

Last week im going to Spore to have my little getaway from Jakarta. Actually i have to accompany my parents to their power plant (its not like really really a plant, guys) exhibition at Marina Bay Sands Exhibition Hall. And then i get the chances to walking around marina bay sands hotel and mall, yeah its cool! Hahaha im sooo dummy when i see those big boat in the top of the hotel. But unfortunately i didnt stay at that hotel, im staying at another hotel in orchard. I think because im alone, only with my parents, its a little bit boring. But walking around in orchard road seems fine. And then im going to the malls, buying rubi shoes like i always did when im going to spore, going to forever 21 to see some cutes dress and crop tee (but again unfortunately i only bought a simple sweater). Emm its only 3 days 2 night so walking around just fine and entertaining. Thanks mom & dad <3

Since im going to high school, i feel so weird. There something changing about my attitude. I am more calm and quiet, dont know why. I feel like listening to the music still the best hobby to do EVERYDAY. Sometimes i think i have my own imagination and my own world. But i think this hobby is not weird and scary, yeah i just feel like being alone. Not forever alone, but choosing being alone.

About my class movie project, finally i already did my acting parts. Im not really good at acting, tho. If im going to be an actress maybe im going to be the worst one. Lol hahahaha. At least im going to taking acting school first. (Like im really going to be an actress... haha).

 By the way... i really want to get  a scholarship. I really want to apply from now. I want to lived in another country, having my school outside Indonesia. Because i feel like living in another country seems so easy and fun. I want to take foreign university, the example is National University of Singapore, or maybe Princeton University, Yale University. Dreaming is good guys. I love to dreaming. And maybe i can fulfill my dream. And my dream university faculty is Business, Management, and International thingy. My dream job is working at United Nation. I hope God will answers all my prayer and hope, and my dream too.

I think because im all alone now, and have a lot of time, im blabbing about my dream, my things, my hobby, and i feel this is so weird. hahahaha. Maybe because im bored? Not really. Btw guys i still have a presentation that i haven't work it out, actually already but only the cover page huhu :p But i don't feel like ending this post. I still have a lot of things that i still want to let it out, let it go, by posting my stories in this blog. I know that my viewers is always increasing, but i don't know who you are. This is my new idea to know who you are. Simply write the comment in this post by saying your name. Hahaha but it doesn't necessary, isn't it? I love my silent reader better. You guys read my stories and then quit it. My blog is one of my personal diaries beside my best friends. But the negative is my Blog doesn't help my solving and healing my problem, but my friend does {}{} Actually my blog listen me too well, until many paragraphs, hundred post, and many years. Thank you blogspot :) You always listen too well. Thank you so much.

Bye guys, i still have a lot assignments to do. See you wanna see you :)

I Love You, xx

hey guysss!!!

hey guyyyyssss its been a long time. you know im getting busier these days. many school things. so depressed. but there's one assignment that made me happier as hell................... PROJECT MOVIES uyeaaayyy!!! i like it so much because im into making movies thingy. and then many homeworks to do. test. im shoooo crazy. but but school is getting fun, yeah. hmm actually school is tiring, i put a little sarcasm at my last opinion haha.

now i keep scrolling at my twitter timeline. actually i really miss the old time with my bestfriends!!!! it is so damn awesome i cant even. and then and then when people starting to annoyed and insult me, thats the best one!!!

now im stu-dying math with my dearest alya meutia {}{} byeee guyssss hope to see ya soon :*

just being honest

ummm hi guys :)

gue cuma pengen jujur aja kali ini...

gue sangat expect lebih, tp sygnya gue keduluan.

i dont know, as if like my heart are floating, or burning :(

im not a special person tho, im just me, nothing elses

sometimes i would act like i dont care, but this isnt working.

that time when you want to scream, but you cant.

or on that time when you really want to say the truth, but you cant.

that time when you want to spilled everything.

that time when you want to see those eyes.

that time when you want to smile again, ear to ear, with your blushed cheeks.

that time when you have butterflies all over your tummy.

that time when you heart beating like crazy.

that time when you.... cant get everything you want.

that time when you cant have all of it.

that time when its all just a memories.

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its hurt. when everything like this.

simply and truthfully, i just want to be called by "di" again.

di. di. di. di. di.

today i swear im not doing anything...

guys. im here. im alive. yeah.

its been a long time i didn't post something in my blog with english (haha maybe? however i forgot). yesterday i celebrate my dear husband birthday, yep the man in my post before this. hahaha lol i declare him as my new husband now :P i already break up with kyuhyun because he's a got a more trashy girls around him. i just dont like him anymore. then when im feel so alone i saw Yun hubby music video and live performance, and his reality show. its just feels like a whole world crashing. actually, my heart does hahaha. actually, i like him from very old time... in 2009... when i see Wrong Number music video. he's so handsome i could've die. but kyuhyun take my heart first... and then... yeah. *WARNING, FAN GIRL POST ATTACK*

About school... great. I've moved to Social Class like i told you before. It is great. I feel so great. I feel more eased. I dont need to study chemical, physics, and biology anymore. IT FEELS SO GOOD. Hell yeah.

Sooo i dont really have a pressure these days, but my feelings stay the same. I truly cant change my feelings at all :)

kay not really a long post, bye, xx

Little notes for my everything, in 6 February 2012 {}

“I love to joke around but in actuality, I’m the loneliest.” - Jung Yunho

He's the one, my U-Know.
Although he feel lonely, Cassiopeia and BigEast always there for him.
He is the truly leader who fight for the group until the last drop of tears and sweat.
He protect the group like there's nothing more important than that.
He want to keep it as 5 no matter how, in any ways.
His dedication to SM Entertainment and DBSK/TVXQ/TOHOSHINKI is very great, and very faithful.
He's the birthday boy today, so lets greet him (from far away, from me, yeah) with a sweet HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wish anything but the best for you, you are my favorite, you are my best, still as ever, and forever.


Always Keep The Faith,
I Love You